Good-night! Good-night! As we so oft have said
Beneath this roof at midnight, in the days
That are no more, and shall no more return.
Thou hast but taken up thy lamp and gone to bed;
I stay a little longer, as one stays
To cover up the embers that still burn.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We often forget how precious life is until we are forced to stare down at a loved one who just passed. Murmuring to each other how good they look considering as we all cry on each others shoulders. Spending hours reminiscing about individual and family memories while skimming through old photo albums.

While they are alive we take for granted who truly valuable they are as a person. Grandparents are just old wrinkly people who gave birth to our parents, who when they are older repeat the same story over and over every time we come over.

What we don't realize is the uniqueness of their history.

Who were they as a person, not as our grandparent? Who were their parents, and their parents parents and what were they like? What was the true meaning behind the stories that they proudly told over and over hoping that just one time we would be listening with open ears and an open heart. These are all keys to understanding the magnitude of human life, and it's bigger picture.

My grandpa was the last of my dad's parents to pass, and it's left me feeling like we are facing the end of an era. No one's left to pass on stories which form into their legacies. No one's left to live in the house he built up north for grandma, which has become the house that he built for them to die in.

During the week everyone's been sifting through belongings in hopes to take home a piece of them, but what struck me the most is how much I really didn't know my grandparents as much as I would have liked to. Looking through the photo albums I saw a side of them that amazes me. Young love. Building a family. History in the making. Things that seem insignificant to us right now, will be history in 40-50 years.

If I could say one last thing to him before he died I would have sat in front of him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him I was listening.

I love music. I love unique music. I fell in love with Zooey Deschanel's voice back in the movie Elf, and now she has her own band, She and Him. I can only describe it as nostalgic. Unique. Intriguing. Beautiful. With her voice and the arrangements of the song you are instantly transformed back, and left feeling wonderful.

Try it, and tell me what you think.

**disclaimer videos may not be everyone's taste.. listen to the songs.

Zooey and Will Ferrell "Baby it's Cold Outside"


She and Him "Change is Hard"



She and Him "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here"

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”
~ Rosanne Cash

Since everyone that comes here is a close personal friend, then you'll know I've struggled with career decisions since I came out of the womb and the doctor spanked my ass.

I wish I could say that one specific career sticks out the most, and will make me the happiest person on earth and leave me with a fulfilled sense of purpose on this earth. But the reality is I like too many things for that to be the case. So I'm left following some sort of dream in hopes that it's the right decision, and the right timing.

But as I sit reading that quote by Rosanne Cash (because I love her daddy so) I am left to wonder.. is it the career itself or the fear of failure? The fear of regret? The fear of being stuck in my decisions? The fear of complacency?

The key to change is to let go of fear.

The winter semester is a new semester full of possibilities, and starting this semester I've made a pact with myself.. quit worrying about the big picture. Things definitely haven't fallen into place as I had planned or even hoped, and I have a feeling they won't as long as I live in this state. I'm resigning with myself that this is OK.

The key to change is to let go of fear.

So the new plan is to get my paramedics license. That's it. I'm not including any buts or ifs or any other contingency clause in my statement.

I am going to go out in the world and save it one person at a time.
I am going to go out in the world and make it brighter one person at a time.

And at the end of the day I will sit on my couch with my lovely (future) wife Lisa and our lovely (future) kids, pour a glass of wine and smile at how fortunate my life is.

Itunes playing song magic on my soul. I dropped everything I was doing as I got pulled into the hauntingly beautiful melody. I couldn't help but to start crying.

Simply beautiful.

(Couldn't find original on youtube, and live doesn't do this song justice!)