Today I did something that I normally don't do -- read small minded comments attached to articles, let alone articles about gay rights. Regardless of what they have to say, whether good or bad, it does not change my belief system or the core of who I am. I am gay. I am proud of it. I don't throw it in your face. Get over it.

I am sick of reading and hearing comments regarding how we don't deserve to be recognized, as if being gay is merely our choice and not allowing us to marry will surely set us "straight." Like writing discrimination into our state or federal constitutions will provoke us to go away, hide, or scare us "straight." I don't understand the logic in these small minded heads, and most definitely I don't understand who died and made them God.

Until straight marriage is divorce free, infidelity free, and sin free I don't wish to hear their opinions on how THEY should be the ones to determine how I should live my life. Here's a thought, let the gays vote on how you should live your life, and we will forget the whole discrimination thing.

Eye for an eye right?

And for my dearest friends who happen to be straight, loving, caring, compassionate, understanding, and awesome.. thank you! Thank you for understanding that a person is a person regardless of their orientation. It's people like you that make this world a truly better place.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced one another,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and shot the two dead boys.
A paralyzed donkey walking by,
Kicked the copper in the eye,
Sent him through a rubber wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
(If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

I chose the title based off of this poem that I heard a long time ago. Every time I hear the poem, it always cracks me up. It kind of reminds me of aspects of the rhythm of life with the extreme use of word incompatibility by pairing polar opposites such as day/night, paralyzed/walking, dry/drowned, lie/true, in conjunction with lesser incompatibilities such as swords/shot and rubber/wall.

With the rhythm of our everyday life there is that constant battle between the past and the future, between the now and our goals, between right and wrong, and between the constant need to have to work to survive and the want to work as a means survival through personal expression. Regardless of how happy or fulfilled we are, the rhythm of life is a constant tug of war between our conscience and unconscious wants and needs.


I can say that in my life, particularly since being back, it has been a constant tug of war between wants and needs. I've been desperately seeking friendships like the ones I made in Italy. Lisa has been the constant in my life, a true best friend and lover. She's been there through the good and the bad, she's seen me at my best and worst and still loves me unconditionally. As me to her.

But I, of course, still crave those close relationships that I used to be accustomed to. Having my best friend available when I needed her, my Italy gang, and of course my blog friends.. I've always considered myself extremely lucky. But as life goes, friendships drift because of various reasons. They still exist in our life, but not at the magnitude they once used to hold, and it becomes a game of overcoming hurdles to maintain them (distance, time, personal issues, etc).

I'm at that place where I am trying to overcome those hurdles. Slowly old friends are starting to come back into my life, and slowly I am developing new relationships with unexpected people. Inviting over my family and friends more often, being the one to call if need be, and trying to be more perceptive to their individual situations in life. Again, it's that gentle tug of war.. don't want to tug too much or they can get hurt and don't want to tug too little or I will get hurt.

And of course, this leads me to here. As I can't forget the great friends that I have met as a result of the internet. Although I've allowed school, and work to come between me and blogging I am choosing to make the time to reach out to the people who mean the most to me. The ones who were there for me during the good and the bad, and still have chosen to love me as well. Thank you. It truly is "One fine day in the middle of the night."